OH NO FACEBOOK’S GOING TO DIE OFF – oh wait…
 
Yeah, lots of people have been saying how they’re saving their privacy by deleting their Facebook account (and generally taking to other equally-invasive social networks to make such statements) which has resulted in a massive drop in users – except it, er, hasn’t. 

Cambridge Analytica cleverly getting hold of users’ data has not freaked people out enough for them to stop wanting videos of pets acting like they’re people, or chances to get involved in the massively important issues of the modern world – like which top 30 women’s names are likely to get pregnant (or, more likely, ‘Pregnant’) in 2018.

Or, to get involved in whatever the hell the point of this kind of post is honestly I don’t know, I just can’t handle people, I just can’t… but there’s no way I’m missing out on that just so that the right president can be elected. 

Anyway – Facebook may have taken a small hit with people leaving (though perhaps not as many as people who are joining) but ah well, it’s a like losing a page of a book where there’s no story (example shown). 

It’s unlikely to be the end of things but it’s a small dent in Zuck’s pocket.

But the world doesn’t revolve around Facebook! So what’s happened elsewhere? 

Well, er, on Instagram (not Facebook, noooo) pets acting like people is actually a big thing. Yes, even a pair of monkeys carry more influence than YOU. 


Yeah there’s a play button in that but it’s a screenshot, sorry. 

The influentianimals* are being paid big numbers to endorse products – over $10k for some animal-shaped Influencers and although Instagram is still Facebook, people aren’t scared of it because they haven’t been told to be scared of it by the media yet.

They Love It. 

Instagram’s still the go-to network on which to post your Snotchip-enhanced selfie (because you ain’t gonna put it on Chapsnap after all – after the Rihanna/Kardashian dissing the only people on it are, well, people who should know better

Meanwhile, on dodgy ad-free algorithmophobic Vero (on app only so can’t link, soz) it appears they’re giving out verification ticks at random, which people are bit confused about, but everyone on there’s too busy being aloof and cool to get any hysteria going. 

One thing Vero has introduced, though, is a tracker of how much time you’re spending on the app – basically what part of your lifetime it has sapped. A bit like “when the fun stops, stop” in idea, it’ll be interesting to see if other networks dare to add something similar. 

Doubt it. 

I’ll report back again in a month or so if the Russians haven’t stolen my data and forced me to work for them.

LOL

*definitely the first time that word has been seen by human eyes
 
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